Homily for the Twenty-third Sunday in Ordinary Time, Year A

Judging Within The Bounds Of Love

Rev. Marcel Divine Emeka Okwara, CSsR

Homily for the Twenty-third Sunday in Ordinary Time, Year A

St. Alphonsus Catholic Church, Brooklyn Center, MN

Sunday, September 10, 2023

In our secular culture, there is a hyper-stress on tolerance and non-judgmentalism. To critique someone is regarded as an attack, arrogance and imposition of your idea on another. Judgmentalism is accused of creating the feeling of inadequacy, self-reproach, and the thought of self-harm and suicide. To mitigate this, tolerance is super-promoted and celebrated as the best way to go in the news media and social media. In lots of movies we watch today, the culture of “do not judge” and “everyone has a right to determine what their life is all about” is celebrated. More to it, attempts are made to use Jesus’ famous saying, “judge not and you will not be judged” to defend this viewpoint. Advocates of this theory point to Jesus’ practice of open table fellowship as a radical way of being, and as a way that Christians should behave. Because Jesus was a friend of both saints and sinners, they argue we should cultivate a non-judgmental inclusive attitude. Did Jesus say we should not judge others? Yes! But does it mean that we should not point out moral failures? No! Why do I think so? Because Jesus himself did it severally during his public ministry. His sermon on the mount has plenty of words of moral judgment in it. Again, in his interactions with the scribes and Pharisees, Jesus launched a blistering attack on them: “Woe to you…” In one incident, he said of them, “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, you hypocrites. You are like whitewashed tombs, which appear beautiful on the outside, but inside are full of dead men’s bones and every kind of filth” (Matt. 23:27). 

When Jesus said, “Judge not and you will not be judged,” did he really mean tolerance and non-judgmentalism as many understand it today? I don’t think so! But how do we interpret his words in the light of the secular culture’s preoccupation with non-judgmentalism? This is where I love to make a distinction between a judgment of assessment and a judgment of condemnation. In a judgment of assessment, we talk about moral failures, we talk about what has happened, but never assume moral superiority posture. We don’t use our moral rectitude to belittle, demean and dehumanize a fellow sinner. We don’t speak to them as if we are the lord of their life. Judgment of assessment is not about using the law to put someone down or to engage in gossip. It is an honest conversation from the standpoint of love. But in a judgment of condemnation, we gossip, take the higher ground posture and declare ourselves better people. We inaudibly say to ourselves, “I don’t do these things that other people do.” We also use the law as the weapon of aggression. We say to people, “I know what the law says. I know the Church’s teachings, moral laws and canon law, and I can tell you you are terrible and don’t deserve to live or be forgiven.” When we engage in a judgment of condemnation, we are not helping the struggling brother or sister. It is simply to present our moral superiority over them. I think this is what Jesus meant when he says, “Judge not.” It can’t mean, “Oh, everything is fine.” “There is no problem.” “Whatever a person does or believes is fine by me.” It can’t mean, “Everyone has a right to his or her own self-determination. Who am I to judge others?” No! No! No! We can talk about certain moral choices we make. We can talk about how those choices are affecting us— good or bad. If “Judge not” is applied absolutely, then abolish all the laws and all the courts. And I can tell you, we all would be in really hot soup. Are fellow sinners welcome to church? Yes! Does this welcome mean we approve of all moral collapse? Not at all! Jesus welcomed sinners too, but never approved their sin. To the woman caught in the act of adultery, Jesus said “Go, and do not sin again” (John 8:11b). He never said to her, “Don’t worry. I accept you the way you are, after all, you have to make a living.” To the tax collector, Zacchaeus, Jesus said, “Today, salvation has come into your house” (Lk 19:9). Why? Because Zacchaeus realized he had been living in error, “Behold, half of possessions, Lord, I shall give to the poor, and if I have extorted anything from anyone, I shall repay it four times over” (Luke 19:8). 

If parents are extremely concerned about hurting their children’s feelings, and they don’t intervene with drug abuse or reckless driving or keeping company with the wrong people, what’s going to happen eventually? Your guess is as good as mine. To judge is to intervene and to say, “this is wrong and it has to stop.” As a teenager, I followed some boys in my community. As soon as my mother found that, she put her foot down and ensured that I never hung out with those boys. At that time, I did not like my mother’s conclusion, but years later, I thanked God that she made the right judgment. Take it from me, that kind of judgment is an act of love. That’s what we call “tough love” today. So, Jesus’ “Judge not and you will not be judged” is not this modern “anything goes” morality. 

With this in mind, let’s look at today’s Gospel. How can we correct another, judge, if you want, and stay within the bounds of love? Remarkably, Jesus has something to say about it. In today’s Gospel (Matthew 18:15-20), he proposes a step by step approach; a process known in the Catholic Social Teaching as subsidiarity. It means that problems must be adjudicated first at the local level, and only when it cannot be adjudicated there, it should be moved to the next level of authority. Speaking to his disciples, Jesus says, If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. In a broader sense, if your brother or sister is doing something you really believe is self-destructive or something that is harming the family’s name and reputation or something that will hurt someone else, go to him, and tell him his fault between you and him alone. Honestly, this sounds very simple, yet very difficult to do. It is much easier to complain to others, to gossip, to publish it on Facebook. And we all have a PhD in doing this. But the Lord’s way is to go to the person first. To love is to will the good of the other. If you will another’s good, bring the matter to their attention. 

But if the person does not listen, Jesus does not recommend bad-mouthing tourism on the social media and in private conversations with your friends. He does not say, “Give up!” Rather he encourages us to go to the next level with the same attitude of love: “take one or two others along with you;” take people who believe in reconciliation, who are willing to help and have been involved in family intervention or in helping friends sort out their differences. But if this move does not work, again, Jesus does not say you should congratulate yourself and say “Well, I tried” and then give up. He says, go to the next level: “If he refuses to listen, tell the church.”  The church is the community who, in Christ, cares about other people. But if he refuses to listen to the church, Jesus says, “treat him as you would a Gentile or a tax collector.” What does that mean? Love him, anyway! Continue to love him, nevertheless. Why? Because Jesus says, “But to you who hear I say, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you” (Luke 6:27-28. This Gospel allows us to judge moral behaviors in an appropriate way without ever becoming judgmental. It allows us to intervene in a way that highlights the true meaning of the law of love. I tell you, many broken relationships could have been saved if we followed this rule. So many heartaches could have been avoided only if we followed these steps. 

God bless you!