How To Love Difficult People and People Who Have Hurt You

Rev. Marcel Divine Emeka Okwara

On Holy Thursday, at the Last Supper, Jesus gave his first disciples and those of us who would later believe in his teaching a new commandment: “Love one another. As I have loved you, so you also should love one another.” He also added, “This is how all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” But why did Jesus call his command to love a new commandment? Does the commandment to love not appear in the Old Testament? Do other world religions not command their adherents to love?  Surely, the command to love others can be found in the Old Testament and in other religions, but the difference is this, none of those calls to love others is based on anyone. Buddha never asked his adherents to love others as he has loved. Muhammad never instructed anyone to love as he has loved. Confucius did not tell his followers to love as he has loved. Laozi the founder of Taoism never asked anyone to love as he has loved. Only Jesus did! In Jesus and through Jesus, love became concrete and real. Jesus defines and demonstrates the true meaning of love, sets a new standard and also raises the bar of love. For him, love is no longer based on how much you love yourself. The old commandment was to love your neighbor as you love yourself; however, the new one, set by Jesus, demonstrated by Jesus, exemplified by Jesus, led by example by Jesus is to love as he Jesus has loved us. If you are asking the question, “How did Jesus love us?” take a look at the cross. Buddha, Muhammad, Confucius, Laozi etc. none of them died for the redemption of the world. Only Jesus did! That is why his command to love others is a new commandment. It is no longer a general call or an empty call that sounds nice and romantic. It is no longer based on how much you love yourself or how much you love Jesus. It is rather based on how much Jesus loves us. True love is sacrificial. Jesus invites us to love until it hurts. 

Jesus also wants his disciples to be known, recognized and identified as his disciples not simply because they go to Church often, (even though it is good to go to church) or have the appearance of being religious. The world should know you as a disciple of Christ Jesus not because you have a rosary or scapular or cross around your neck, but because you are a person of true love. Do not get me wrong! Nothing is wrong with wearing those sacramentals. I actually encourage Catholic Christians to have the crucifix, pictures of Jesus, Mary, and other holy persons on display at the walls of their homes. When they are blessed by a priest, they can ward off evil spirits. But our discipleship should go beyond all that. Be known as Jesus’ friend not because you carry a bible around but because you carry love around. Be known for love! Love should be the identity of all Christians. So, if you want others to identify you, know your faith, just love as Jesus loved. 

Now, when you hear the word “love,” what comes to your mind? Most of us think of our spouses, children, family, siblings, friends, good neighbors, and some of their colleagues at work that they have a good relationship with. We think of people who are easy to love, because they love us back. In the Gospel of Luke 6:32 Jesus says “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them.” In the same Gospel, Jesus challenges his followers: “Love your enemies and do good to them” (Luke 6:35). It is not enough to love the people that are easy to love; we are also called to love those who are difficult to love, that is the unlovables. But how? How do we love those that we deeply resent? How do I love someone that has hurt me—whose lies cost me my job, my relationship, my marriage, my business? How do I love someone who raped me, put me in a family way, and inflicted me with STD? How do I love someone who has been so mean to me and who wants me dead? When I see him or her do I just pretend that all is well? Do I fake my love for them? 

Honestly, it is very difficult to love people who have done any of these or other harms to you. But I want to encourage you to try. Take a page out of Jesus’ book. Learn from him. Do not go through the rest of your life in anger, bitterness and resentment. Living that way is like living in darkness. God does not want that for you, and you should not want it for yourself either. Be patient with me as I share with you the five ways to love someone who is difficult to love.

Prayer: Whenever you pray, pray for the ones you dislike and resent. If you are struggling to love someone, strive to pray for them daily. Tell God how you feel about the person, but also ask God to bless them, touch them, heal them, and be with them. I tell you, it is almost impossible to continue to hate someone you are constantly asking God to bless, protect and prosper. Praying for the hated ones can soften the hatred. 

Be Honest With Yourself: The saying that no one is perfect includes you and those who hurt you. That no one is perfect means that from time to time we are going to step on each others toes, say things that will hurt the other, and behave in a manner that will be reprehensible to others. Tell yourself the truth that just as someone has offended you due to the person’s imperfection, so also you have offended someone else due to your own imperfection. Think about how you would want to be treated and then treat others the same way.

Forgive Often: It is hard to forgive the people who hurt us, but if we don’t forgive them, we will become bitter, angry and resentful. Mark this! You won’t be able to love someone you are bittier and angry with and resentful of. The first step is to forgive and then gradually move yourself to the place where you can begin to feel comfortable to love them again. 

Strive to know people’s story: When it comes to judging people and blaming others, we are all doctorate degree holders. We are quick to judge people and quick to blame them instead of taking some time to understand their stories, background, experience etc. and how those may be impacting them at present. A lot of people have issues, deep issues. So, be patient with people. The reason why that person is upset with you whenever you mention Church or God may be that he or she is disappointed with God or Church for something that happened to them in the past. If you know their story, you may be more patient. If you understand their story,  you may be moved with compassion for them. Compassion for the other is the beginning of love.  

Not Everyone will be your best friend: During his earthly ministry, Jesus healed a lot of people and was followed by a great multitude, but when he wants to relax, rest, eat, pray, reflect, and debrief, he will settle with the 12 Apostles. So, loving someone does not mean that the person must be your best friend. You can love even difficult people by being kind, pleasant and respectful. 

Jesus wants the world to recognize us as his disciples by loving as he did. And loving as Jesus did includes difficult people and people who have hurt you. Check this out! At the peak of his pain, Jesus forgave his executioners. By loving difficult people and those who caused you pain, you fulfill the Lord’s commandment and become more like him. 

Mother’s Day Sermon

Rev. Marcel Divine Emeka Okwara

St. Mary of Assumption Church, Whittier, CA

Sunday, May 12, 2019

Since October 15, 2014 when I lost my mother, Mother’s Day has always been a sensitive time for me. I believe it is the same emotion for many of you here who have lost your moms as well. Like you, I miss my mother so much. As a priest, it is harder for me because I do not have a family of my own. All my siblings are married. I know they miss our mother, but their spouses and kids have softened the effect of the impact. When the news of my mother’s transition was broken to me, one of the grief questions I asked myself severally was how I would be able to live, cope and deal with her loss as a man without my own family. It has gotten easier to deal with the loss as the years pass but it is still hard sometimes. God has since my mother’s departure blessed me with wonderful people. A few months after I came to St. Mary, a caucasian couple drove all the way from Baton Rouge, Louisiana, to Whittier, California, just to be with me. I don’t know if you still remember them. May be not. The thing is that since they did not have a child together, they adopted me as their son. Ever since then, they have treated me like their own biological son. The saying that God provides is obviously true. Please, keep them in your prayers. Since last year, both of them have experienced a major health issue. But thanks be to God, they are still alive and thriving. Their names are David and Mary. 

As we celebrate yet another Mother’s Day, I want to talk about the seven different ways we can honor our mothers. I believe there are more ways to honor them, but due to time constraint, I am going to concentrate only on seven:  

Unconditionally Love Your Mother: No matter how your mother carries or carried out her maternal responsibilities, your own responsibility is to love and care for her. Nothing she has done or said to you will ever wipe out the fact that she is still your mother. Sometimes mothers have their hands full, which causes them to react harshly to you. Put those experiences behind you. The Book of Leviticus 19:3 says, “Each of you should honor your mother and father…” Love your mother because God has placed her in your life. 

Forgive Your Mother’s Shortcoming: Mothers are human beings too. They are not perfect. Like everyone of us, they are not always going to get it right. So, if you think your mother was hard on you, didn’t say kind words to you, didn’t love you the way you expected her to, may be after your father left her or died, she remarried and moved on with her newfound love, and placed you under the care of her sister, as we celebrate Mother’s Day, I urge you to forgive her— whether living or dead. 

Be Proud Of Your Mother: No matter what your mother looks like, be proud of her. Even if she can’t speak good English, be proud of her. Ability to speak good English is not always an evidence of knowledge and wisdom. If your mother is not technologically savvy, be proud of her. If she did not receive enough formal education, be proud of her. She may not have a college degree, but I tell you, she does have a doctorate degree in life experiences. She has a doctorate degree in being strong. She has a doctorate degree in many things. When you were little, your mother was able to look at you and discern correctly the meaning of every tear you shed. Each time you cried, she was able to know what you wanted and what was wrong with you. Be proud of her! 

Be Attentive To Your Mother’s Need: From infancy, a child is used to taking from his or her mother. So, it can be easy to forget that mothers too have needs. From time to time, consider what your mother might appreciate. As she grows older, she may need assistance for her physical or emotional well-being. You know, for some mothers, all they desire is for their children to express gratitude by way of being attentive to them. Do not abandon your mother. Even after you are married, stay in touch with her. Never allow anything or anybody to disconnect you from your mother. Mother’s life matters!

Live Well And Upright: The greatest gift you can give to a godly mother is to live well and upright. Since we are all Christians, be conscious of God’s presence in your life. Be conscious of your relationship with God. Your relationship with God will be marked and defined by how you live your daily life, what you say and do, how you treat others, how much God matters to you. The bottomline is this: Give your life to Christ Jesus. Even a mother who didn’t live well or who was not a Christian will definitely want her children to live uprightly and will no doubt take pride in a child whose life radiates love, kindness, sacrifice, and charity.

Daily Pray For Your Mother: As a Catholic Christian, prayer should be important to you. So, when you pray, talk to the Lord about your mother. Pray for her privately and in her presence. Surely, praying for her in her presence will always remind her that she is important and loved. 

Do Not Forsake Your Mother’s Teaching: The Book of Proverb says, “Listen, my child, to your father’s instruction, and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.” Many of you have heard me talk about my mother’s wisdom and teachings. They inspire me. Strengthen me. Encourage me. And help me keep moving forward. Those wonderful lessons you learned from your mother can help you through life. We are used to hearing the question, “What would Jesus do?” But there are times when the question, “What would mom do?” will be proper as well.  

To all the mothers here, I commit you into the loving hands of God. I thank each of you for participating in the miracle of birth. May God bless each of you. If you are experiencing sickness, any kind of sickness, I pray for your healing. If you are suffering from broken heart syndrome, I release the anointing power of the Holy Spirit, our Comforter to comfort you. Whatever it is in your life that you struggling with right now— loss of spouse, child, friend, etc. may you experience the power of the Resurrection in Jesus name. Amen

The Enduring Messages of Easter

The Enduring Messages of Easter

Rev. Marcel Divine Emeka Okwara

Every Easter season, Christians celebrate the Resurrection of Jesus Christ. We celebrate the victory of the Crucified One over death and evil. But before his death and Resurrection, Jesus had spent his earthly ministry doing good, healing those oppressed by the devil (Acts 10:38), condemning the injustices of the day, and spreading a religion, a culture that emphasizes the spirit rather than the letter of the law. He called for metanoia, advocated for inter-racial relationship among Jews and non-Jews. He also confronted head-on the status quo and those who had gained from such a corrupt system. Consequently, he was marked for elimination and destruction by the powers that be. When the time came, his own disciple, Judas Iscariot, handed him over to the haters and exchanged his own relationship with Jesus for thirty pieces of silver. As if that was not enough,  Peter, one of his favorites, so to speak, denied him thrice. He was handed over to the Roman authorities by the chief priests of his own religion. He was tried, falsely accused, and unjustly condemned to death by Pilate the Governor. As he was carrying his cross and making his own crucifixion procession, no one from the crowd spoke up in his defense. There was a collective silence of collusion from the people. Everyone, it seemed, had concluded that Jesus broke the law. Even when they were asked by Pilate to choose between Barabbas, the real criminal, and Jesus, the Innocent One, from whom many of them benefitted a lot from, the crowd chose to spare the life of Barabbas and to have Jesus executed (Matt. 27:17). There was no Daniel to disagree and challenge the judgment meted out to Jesus. There was no courageous person like him in the whole crowd to say, “I am innocent of this man’s blood.” There was no one to declare like prophet Daniel, “Are you such fools, you Israelites to condemn a son of Israel without investigation and without clear evidence? (Daniel 13:48). Suzanna, in the Book of Daniel 13 got a better deal than Jesus did. 

To trumpet their deep seated hatred for Jesus, they crucified him outside the walls of the city of Jerusalem. Death by crucifixion was the greatest symbol of intense hatred and rejection of Jesus and everything he was and taught by the very people he loved. Although Jesus paid the price to set us free from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us (Gal. 3:13), the price he paid was via false accusation, hatred, injustice, and wickedness. 

But guess what friends? Three days after his death, the Crucified and Humiliated One conquered death and resurrected bodily. After his resurrection, he started to appear to his disciples to show and convince them that he is truly risen. Among the many appearances of Jesus to his disciples, my best of all is in Luke 24:35-48. Jesus had come to the disciples at a troubled moment. And after greeting them, “Peace be with you,” he showed them his hands and feet, and then urged them, “Touch me and see, because a ghost does not have flesh and bones as you can see I have.” To further convince them that he is indeed risen, he asked for something to eat, and when they handed him a piece of baked fish, “he took it and ate it in front of them.” At the end of the encounter, Jesus said to his disciples, “You are witnesses of these things.” 

Beloved, the bodily Resurrection of Jesus is a wonderful sign that heaven and earth are coming together. A body that can be touched and eat has found its way into the realm of heaven. Resurrection is not a hoax. It is not a myth. It is real and true. Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, crucified by haters is risen indeed. And the good news is that he is risen to die no more. As we celebrate this unprecedented event, permit me to share with you some of the priceless and enduring lessons of Easter.  

There are many things that can bring someone to the point of despair: learning that your spouse has cheated, sudden death of a loved one, loss of home, jobs, collapse of marriage or relationship etc. All these events and many more can cause anger and bring a person to the point of despair. Despair could be a natural reaction to an unexpected sad event, but if not checked can take away any sense of hope that we have. The first message of Easter is that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Easter highlights the hope and optimism of the Psalmist: “Weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning” (Ps. 30:6) Easter brought the sorrow and despair of the disciples to an end. Before Easter, they saw him betrayed by one of their own, denied by Peter, falsely accused by the chief priests and elders of the people and then crucified. The disciples had given up their trade and profession to follow Jesus. They had devoted their lives to following him. But when Jesus was arrested, tried, sentenced and executed, all hope seemed lost. They even feared for their own lives: “Will the authorities also come after us?” they must have asked themselves. But in the midst of heightened fear and despair, hope returned when they learned that the Crucified One is risen. Child of God, at the end of the tunnel of fears, despair, uncertainty, struggle, suffering, sickness, failure etc. your light will shine. You will experience the power of the Resurrection that will turn your sorrow into laughter.   

The Resurrection of Jesus teaches me that this world is not it. This world is not all there is; there is more after it. Sometimes the way we live our lives, pursue goals, successes, achievements, etc. give the impression that the natural world we live in is the final framework of our lives and activities. Do not get me wrong! There is nothing wrong pursuing goals, trying to be successful, and attaining some level of achievements, but when we pursue these at the detriment of our ultimate purpose in life— knowing God, loving God and serving God— then we may end up realizing rather too late that the words of the philosopher, “Vanity upon vanity! All things are vanity” (Ecclesiastes 1:2) is indisputably true. As you work hard and aspire to be successful, remember to always keep your eyes on the heavenly crown.  

While some people are scared of death, others are afraid or concerned about the dying process. By dying process I do not only mean the final hour or hours when different organs of the body begin to shut down but also those times when even a healthy person is worried and fearful about being terminally sick and hospitalized. Some people worry whether they will be alone in times sickness and hospitalization, if they will get the care they need, if family members will be around to support them, if they will be able to endure the pain etc. Regardless of what side we are, one of the the messages of Easter, the Resurrection of Jesus our Lord is that death does not have the final say. Death is not the final word. Good Friday, which can stand for all life’s misfortune is not the final day. The final word is Easter. The final day is Easter. Even after death, there is another life, and the good news is that it is a life that does not cease or end. The resurrected life is a life that can never be threatened by sickness, harm or death itself. After death, there is a “new heaven and a new earth” where lovers of God will be born again. In natural death, we will close our eyes but will reopen them on the other side to behold the Most Ancient Beauty— God. Easter teaches me that God has a wonderful plan for us. So, we should not live as if death were our master. Death may separate us from our loved ones for sometime, but it can never separate us from our Lord. Actually if there is one thing death knows how to do best, it is in uniting the beloved with the Lover completely.  Because of Easter let us begin to see our natural world as a place of learning, growth and maturation towards something greater, stable, peaceful and amazingly beautiful. 

The fourth enduring message of Easter is that there are some things— values, faith, convictions, discipleship etc that worth defending and dying for. Jesus died for the sake of the common good of humanity. He is the Ultimate Good. He went about doing good. He was sinless. Yet, he died. For what? For his values, convictions, for truth and sacrificial love. The epistle of Peter 3:14 affirms that the person who suffers for what is right is indeed blessed. Jesus suffered for what was and is still right, that’s why more than two thousand years after, he is still worshipped, honored and adored all over the whole world. More than 4 million people from around the world travel to Israel every year on pilgrimage to see some of the places that he lived with ministered. Easter teaches me that human life can be willingly offered and sacrificed for the sake of love for the other. 

Easter highlights the triumph of truth, justice and sacrificial love; promises the ultimate victory of good over evil; and teaches that injustice will never win. Wickedness will never win. Lies and deceit will not win. Hatred will never win. Evil did not win. 

The sixth enduring message of Easter is that every human suffering, affliction, misfortune etc has an expiration date.  

The bodily Resurrection of Jesus shows me that I have an Advocate in heaven— an Advocate who has made possible the marriage of heaven and earth. By his Resurrection, Jesus brought together the realm of heaven and earth together. 

Seven Priceless Lessons from Good Friday

Dearest beloved, on every Good Friday, we commemorate the sufferings and death of our Lord Jesus Christ. Today’s Gospel is taken from St. John’s account of the Passion of Jesus. The Ultimate Good, the one who went about doing good, healing and delivering all those who where under the power of the evil one was paid back, not with honest gratitude, or affirmation of his good deeds, or with loyal followership, but with scorn, humiliation, injustice, and death. On Calvary, the greatest lover was offered the greatest hatred. On Calvary, the Author of life had his own life taken away. He was crucified and killed. 

The Lord’s crucifixion is both the fullest expression of divine anger over sin, and the fullest and greatest expression of love for the other. We were supposed to be the ones on the cross, but even our own crucifixion and death wouldn’t have been enough to atone for our sins. Only Jesus could and he did. He died on our behalf and atoned everlastingly our sins and that of the generations to come. So, when we look at the cross, we should see, not just a violent display of brutality rather our own ugliness. What even took Jesus to the cross? Wickedness. Evil. Anger. Institutional injustice. Betrayal of friendship. Denial. Unspeakable cruelty. Lies. Anger. Gossip. Oppression. Scapegoating. Hatred. Fear. ETC.  But here is the good news! Despite the ugliness, brutality and aggression of the cross, it is still the most profound expression of love and divine solidarity with sinners— you and me. God has come to stand with us in our insane arrogance and he is offering us boundless and limitless mercy. With all certitude, we are sinners. I am a sinner. You are a sinner. No one is spotless. None is without blemish. No matter how religious, pious or holy we appear, none of us is innocent before God. But because of Good Friday we are no more condemned sinners but redeemed sinners. 

As we commemorate Good Friday, there are seven priceless lessons that the story of the Lord’s crucifixion can teach us. 

Physical Suffering is Part of Life: My study and work in clinical settings have exposed me to the level of suffering that many sick people go through. The pain and anguish of sickness do drive many to ask if they are being punished by God and if God has abandoned them. So, the first priceless lesson to learn from Jesus’ own experience is that physical suffering is part of life. For Jesus, suffering is real, not an illusion as some philosophers claim. On Good Friday, Jesus was beaten, tortured and nailed to the cross. The capital punishment he faced was the most agonizing way to kill a person. “Victims of crucifixion died either from loss of blood, or more commonly asphyxiation (suffocation), as the weight of their bodies pulled on their wrists, compressed their lungs and made breathing impossible.” Jesus’s life, like any human life, included physical suffering. He suffered throughout his lifetime. His parents were not folks of means. He grew up in the small town of Nazareth, from where he later traveled throughout Galilee and Judea. He lived at a time of primitivity when life was so hard. No good roads. No good transportation system. He mostly walked about. No good hospital. And he definitely had headaches, sprained ankle, malaria, cold, flu etc. Jesus expressed a great deal of suffering from infancy till death, although the zenith of his physical suffering occurred on Good Friday. 

Emotional Suffering is Real: Part of the reasons why many hospitals in the United States and other developed countries have professionally trained chaplains is because studies have shown that physical suffering oftentimes leads to emotional and spiritual distress. In Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE), it is called spiritual pain. Studies have also shown that patients in healthcare settings who experience emotional or spiritual pain may continue to feel unwell until their emotional and spiritual distress are addressed even after the best medical care has been provided. When we speak about Jesus’ suffering on Good Friday, we always tend to pay attention only on his physical trials. But just like many of patients in hospitals, Jesus’ agony on the cross included emotional and spiritual distress and suffering as well. The cry of “My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?” is a lamentation of someone who was experiencing and expressing not only deep physical pain, but spiritual and emotional suffering as well. Jesus felt a deep sense of abandonment. His Apostles had fled in fear and abandoned him. The few women of Jerusalem who were around couldn’t save him. The betrayal of Judas, a close ally must have hit hard. Peter’s denial of him must have felt like Mike Tyson’s uppercut punch. What about the crowd, many of whom benefited from his ministry? None spoke up in his defense. No one said, “This man is innocent.” By the time a centurion acknowledge, “Truly, this was the Son of God!” (Matthew 27:54), it was too late. Jesus had been killed. The betrayal, denials, rejection etc must have weighed heavily on his heart and caused him deep emotional and spiritual pain and distress. 

Suffering is not Always the Result of Sin: “Father, am I being punished for my sins?” “Father, if God gives me another chance, I will change my life.” Those are some of the words my terminally ill patients ask me when I come to visit them. The persistence of their illness, the refusal of their bodies to respond well to medical treatment, the lengthy hospitalization, myriads of medical tests and examination, the poking of their skins to draw blood by nurses, the intrusions, the lack of privacy, doctors not knowing what else to do, the toll their illness is taking on the members of their families, health insurance related matters, their new normal, isolation from loved ones, the sudden end of the life they had before, the thought of death, the fear of it etc. oftentimes corner patients to think that their suffering is definitely due to sin. Now, there are times suffering comes as a result of sin. If we make immoral decisions, it could lead to suffering. But most of the time, particularly illness and other misfortunes, it may not be. Jesus suffered tremendously not due to sin. He was sinless, yet, he suffered immensely. He was not being punished for his sins. During the time of Jesus, terminal illness, extreme poverty, deformity etc were attributed to sin and divine retribution. In the Gospel of John, Jesus’ own disciples asked him about a man who was born blind, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born born?” Jesus replied, “Neither this man nor his parents sinned.” Praise God! Unfortunately this thought pattern is still prevalent today. In the land of my birth, Nigeria, and even here in America, people still attribute suffering to sin. If every suffering is due to sin, what sin did Jesus commit?

Jesus is Truly Human: Most Christians believe that Jesus has two natures— human and divine. Although it is not easy to comprehend fully this mystery, the Gospels are littered with stories of Jesus exhibiting both human and divine attributes. When his friend Lazarus died, Jesus wept. Jesus was also hungry and tired. Like every human being, he grieved and groaned. At the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus prayed like me and you when he asked the Father to remove and prevent his suffering: “Remove the chalice from me.” That means he did not want to die. He only surrendered when he immediately realized it was the Father’s will for him. We also see Jesus raise Lazarus and other people from death, heal the sick, calmed storms, walked on water, knew the thoughts of people, changed water into win and also made the declaration, “Before Abraham was, I AM.” The I AM is God’s name revealed to Moses. But the fourth priceless lesson of Good Friday is that Jesus is truly human. At the cross, his humanity was on full display for all to see. 

Suffering is not the Final Word: When the Son of God and Redeemer of humanity died, foolish people foolishly thought that God was dead. The death of God would have been the death of humanity and the extinction of everything. After his death on the cross, there was Easter. There is Easter. And there will always be Easter. Good Friday is incomplete without Easter. Easter tells us that there is an end to pain and suffering. If you are walking under the shadow of death, remember the message of Easter. Your struggles today shall pass. The Egyptians you see today, you shall see no more. Your struggles shall pass you by. Be hopeful! Victory is just round the corner. Remember that nothing is too difficult for God. 

Injustice and Wickedness will never Win: When Jesus was dragging his wounded body to Golgotha, it seemed he was finished. Don’t forget he fell thrice under the heavy weight of the cross. He was scourged at the pillar. He was slapped by a soldier. They made caricature of him.  They spat in his face. And fed him with an expired win. All manners of wickedness and injustice were unleashed on him. When he cried, “It is finished!” his executioners rejoiced and thought they had finished him off. When he bowed his head and died, they misunderstood expiration for extinction. They thought they have won. They thought their injustice and wickedness  have triumphed. But Easter tells us a different lesson. It tells us that evil did not win and will not win. Injustice and wickedness did not win and will not win.

Capital Punishment is always inadmissible because it attacks the inherent dignity of all humans. 

Rev. Marcel Divine Emeka Okwara, CSsR

Good Friday

April 19, 2019

THE MURDER OF A 9-YEAR OLD GIRL, TRINITY LOVE JONES

 THE MURDER OF A 9-YEAR OLD GIRL, TRINITY LOVE JONES

Rev. Marcel Divine Emeka Okwara, CSsR

On March 31, 2019, a funeral Mass was held in St. John Vianney Catholic Church, Hacienda Heights, California, for a little angel girl named Trinity Love Jones. She was 9 years when she was killed, and her body wrapped in a duffle bag and dumped at the bottom of a hill close to a Buddhist Temple, and just four miles away from St. John Vianney Catholic Church. Her lifeless body was discovered by the Los Angeles County workers who were doing maintenance work around the area (Hacienda Boulevard ) her body was found. 

Upon hearing the news, the Buddhists immediately invited religious leaders from around the city to a communal prayer service for Trinity Love Jones at their Temple. After that, St. John Vianney Catholic Community also had a “Memorial of Light” service that brought together Catholics, Baptists, and Buddhists. The service was conducted by a Catholic priest, a Baptist minister, and a Buddhist monk. Six days after the celebration of the memorial service, St. John Vianney Catholic Church dedicated a permanent shrine to the murdered girl. The shrine has an oversized photo of a smiling Trinity with 75 lighted candles, two large baskets of white flowers on each side. When the time came for the family to plan a funeral and burial, a female parishioner of St. John Vianney contacted a Catholic funeral home, paid for the funeral and Trinity’s casket. The same parishioners also solicited food donations from nearby restaurants in order to feed those expected for the funeral reception.  

After some weeks, tipsters led the County prosecutors to locate and file murder charges against the girl’s 28-year old mother, as well as her 38-year old boyfriend. They are being accused of murdering Trinity Love Jone on or about March 1, 2019. 

Now, the family of the angel girl, Trinity Love Jones, don’t live anywhere near where her body was found lifeless; they are not even Catholics or Buddhists. They are Baptists. Yet, her death brought the whole community together to mourn and celebrate an unknown little girl whose life was snuffed out from her. For Catholics and Baptists, the tragic death of Trinity Love Jones is another reminder that resurrection is real. For the whole community, although the murder of Trinity Love is a reminder of the ugly presence of evil, in the end the outpouring of love and prayer for Trinity, support for her grand-mother, and other members of the family who were present at her funeral demonstrates that EVIL DID NOT WIN! Trinity Love wasn’t Catholic, but she was given a Catholic funeral. She was not Catholic, but she was buried in a Catholic cemetery. She was not from Hacienda Heights, and not even around any of towns around, yet, the whole community and its environs came out for her. In life, she was unknown, but not anymore. In life, her picture was only seen by a few, but now her picture hangs on a holy shrine in a Catholic Church. In life, Trinity Love Jones was homeless with her mom and her mom’s boyfriend (they lived in a family car), but now she has a home. She lives in the paradise of the Almighty Father, Wonderful Jesus, and Excellent Holy Spirit. 

Like I said before, a permanent shrine was dedicated and blessed in honor of Trinity Love Jones. Today, (April 17, 2019), I went to St. John Vianney Catholic Church, which is 8 miles away from my parish to pray for the little angel, Trinity Love Jones. I prayed for her soul to rest in peace. I prayed for the members of her family to find healing. I prayed for the protection/safety of children and for the end of this kind of murder. I also asked the angel, Trinity Love Jones to pray for me for I believe she is in heaven. 

Wickedness will never win!

Evil will never win!

Inhumanity will never win!

Let’s protect the little ones and the most vulnerable among us!

Rest in peace, child of God, Trinity Love Jones!

Two Palm Sunday Points to Consider

Rev. Marcel Divine Emeka Okwara 

Homily for Palm Sunday

St. Mary of the Assumption Church, Whittier, California 

Sunday, April 14, 2019

Beloved in Christ, as we begin the Holy Week, I want us to remember that only you and I can make this week holy. If we relate to it or treat it as any other week, without actually making some time for reflection, prayer, and participating in the Holy Week liturgies, it will be holy in name only. 

On this day, the Church recommends a brief homily. But there are two important points I want to highlight. First, in the Gospel that we read outside before the procession (Luke 19:28-40), Jesus sent two of his disciples into the village to bring him an expensive, brand-new colt, a colt that no one had ever used. He also told them that if anyone should ask you why you are taking the colt, tell them that “The Master has need of it.” You know, it would have been a different story if the colt's owners had refused to give it up. The Gospel did not tell us the name or names of the colt's owners. But does it matter? What matters is that they were kind enough to let Jesus use their colt. By so doing, they contributed something significant, something that enabled Jesus to ride into Jerusalem to complete and accomplish God’s assignment for him. The accomplishment of that task is what has brought us victory in Christ, friendship with God, grace in the Spirit, and salvation through faith and accompanying good deeds. So, no matter how unknown or unrecognized you may be, you can still play a significant role in the unfolding of God’s plan. Check this out! Jesus needs something from you, and from me, just as he needed the colt. He needs something from each of us for the sake of furthering God’s Kingdom. Each of us has something in our lives that, if given back to God, could, like the colt, move Jesus and his Gospel further down the road. Do as the owners of the colt did. Don’t hold back. Don’t count yourself out. Sign yourself in.

The second point is this: Jesus, who triumphantly entered the holy city a few days before his passion, desires also to enter triumphantly into the city of our lives. As he rode into the city, people were joyfully spreading their clothes on the road, welcoming him with chants: “Blessed is the King who comes in the name of the Lord.” There was no resistance from him. No hesitation at all. Now, as Jesus attempts to enter into our lives, into every aspect of our private and public lives, are we willing to let him move freely without any hindrance or hesitation? Are we willing to welcome him with joy and chants? Sisters and brothers, the Jerusalem that Jesus profoundly desires to enter today is your heart, my heart, all of our hearts. He wants to enter our lives and be one with us. 

“Go, and Sin No More!”

Rev. Marcel Divine Emeka Okwara, CSsR

Homily for the Fifth Sunday of Lent, Year C

St. Mary of the Assumption Church, Whittier, California

Sunday, April 7, 2019

The unnamed adulterous woman in today’s Gospel (John 8:1-11) encountered Jesus by a mere chance. She did not come to him voluntarily; she did not meet him because she was looking for him. Her encounter with Jesus was forced upon her by the scribes and the Pharisees who caught her in adultery. This makes me want to ask: What about the man with whom she was seen committing adultery? But that’s a discussion for another day. The point I want to highlight is that it was her own sin and wrongdoing that brought about her encounter with Jesus Christ. The scribes and the Pharisees wanted to hear what Jesus would say about what Moses said should be done to people caught in adultery. Moses commanded that such a woman and man should be stoned.  So, when Jesus was asked to weigh in, rather than argue with them, he raised the argument to another level. On the Palestinian soil, he wrote the new law of grace and forgiveness. In the woman brought before him, Jesus recognized the people he came to save. The woman represents the Israel of yesterday who entered into covenant with God but did not always stay faithful to God; she represents the unfaithful wife of prophet Hosea named Gomer. She also represents the Church of tomorrow whom Jesus loves, and for whom he will sacrifice himself in order to set free from the addiction of sin. Because Jesus did not come to judge but to forgive and save, he said to her, “Neither do I condemn you.” But quickly he added, “Go, and from now on do not sin any more.” 

Friends, like the adulterous woman, each of us came to Jesus a sinner. Whether we came to him out of our own free volition or someone brought us to him, the truth is that we all came to him as sinners. Although none of us is perfect, Jesus still wants us to leave our sinful life behind. How is this possible? The saints we celebrate every day teach us that it is possible to love God above all things; that it is possible for our love for God to trump every addictive and habitual sin. I have heard some preachers, including Catholic priests say that God does not care about our sin. What? False theology like that emanated from the German priest Martin Luther, who once declared, “Sin boldly but believe and rejoice in Christ even more boldly.” But let me put it as clear as I can possibly be: it is not true that God does not care about sin. If God does not really care about sin, why did he send his spotless Son Jesus Christ to die for us? Jesus suffered and died to reconcile us with God and to set us free from the clutches of sin and Satan. Our friendship with God was broken by sin. So, by his passion, the friendship/relationship was repaired and healed. Furthermore, if God does not care about sin how come Jesus urged the woman to go and sin no more? Sin has consequences! It hurts the sinner, their relationship with God and with others. The prodigal son teaches us that sin has spiritual and social consequences: “Father, I have sin against heaven and against you…” Any Christian who toys with sin will be reliving the life of Judas Iscariot. 

Any teaching that declares that God does not care about sin is not the gospel of Christ. Our arrogance, violence, injustices, sins all press down upon the body of Christ. God is deeply pained by sins, by the attack on the family, by abortion, and by all sorts of anti-Genesis aimed at eliminating the family. God is pained by a move to reinvent mankind, to modify the very grammar of life as planned and willed by God. God is pained by the attacks leveled against the immigrants of the world. Those who do this forget that everyone of us is an immigrant in the world, that the real owner of the world is God. An attack and rejection of immigrants is an attack on the Son of God who was once an immigrant with the rest of the Holy Family in Egypt. God is pained by our refusal to love and care for the little. Sin, in a nutshell is insane arrogance hinged on “I can do whatever I like, after all, it is my life.”

Jesus asks the woman brought to him to leave sin behind because he recognizes that sin is a heavy burden. It lowers and destroys. Sin punishes us and brings us evil. Sin is evil. So, how can God not be pained by sin? How can God not care about sin? How can God not care that the people he loves with everlasting love are turning away from him and falling into evil and destruction? But the good news is that God still loves us and desires what is good for us. It is his love for us that drives him to cry out “Sin no more” because he understands that sin hurts us. It takes away our holy pride, peace and joy. Sin can cut us off from life, and can dry up from within us the very source of our dignity and freedom. So when Jesus said to the sinful woman, “Go, and from now on do not sin any more” he was basically telling her, Abandon Sin! Abandon Sin!