Reflection on Matthew 18:15-20

Jesus' Practical Steps To Resolving Issues

In today’s Gospel (Matthew 18:15-20), Jesus provides us with concrete pastoral steps to resolve differences, address misunderstandings, and rectify harms and hurt within the Christian community. He says, 

"If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have won over your brother. If he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, so that every fact may be established on the testimony of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell the Church. If he refuses to listen even to the Church, then treat him as you would a Gentile or a tax collector.”

If you notice, he did not say, “If your brother or sister sins against you, go to social media and announce the hurt to the whole world.” That’s not what he said. But it’s disheartening to see what people post on social media. Today, it has become fashionable for some, even Christians, to share on their social media pages the problems they face in their marriages, families, churches, and workplaces. Instead of confronting these issues directly with their spouses, relatives, and colleagues, they rush to social media to express their concerns. Sometimes, they even record videos of their rants and post them online. Platforms like Facebook, TikTok, Instagram, WhatsApp, and others have become outlets for some people’s outbursts. But this should not be the way for Christians. If you feel offended by the words or actions of someone in your church, family, or community, and you are serious about your Christian faith, Jesus says, “Go and tell him his fault between you and him alone.” Making a public broadcast of the event is not Christ-centered behavior. 

The Lord did not say, “If your brother or sister offends you, offend them back. Pay them back in their own coin. Do to them whatever they did to you. Go after them and hurt them too.” Instead, he said, if your brother sins against you, confront him directly and courageously. Don’t join a gossip and complain club because of it. If he listens to you, you have won him over and made peace with him. If he listens to you, you will be at peace with him and he with you. However, if, for any reason, he refuses to listen to your complaint, look around and invite two or three people who believe in reconciliation and are known for their peacemaking abilities. Avoid inviting people who would make the matter worse. They need to be truth-tellers as well. If he does not listen, involve the Church. Let your pastor know about it. Invite your god-parents, spiritual heroes, and sheroes into the matter. Inform those in the Church who are likely to succeed in bringing healing and peace between you and your relative. If all these steps are taken, and your brother refuses to give peace a chance, Jesus said, “Treat him as you would a Gentile or a tax collector.”

What does treating him as a Gentile or a tax collector mean? It means love them regardless! After you have followed and exhausted the steps given by the Lord, and your brother or sister refuses to listen and change, Jesus says, “love them still.” I know, some  would tell you, it means, “Have nothing to do with such a person again.” “Cast them out.” “Build a wall between you and them.” “Consider them as pagans.” “Never speak to them again.” “See them as your enemies.” However, if you examine closely, none of those expressions aligns with the teachings of Jesus Christ. To treat your recalcitrant brother or sister as a Gentile or a tax collector means to continue to love them regardless of their spiritual and moral weakness. 

Where did I get such an idea? I got it from the teachings and ministry of the Lord Himself. In his great Sermon on the Mount, we hear, “Love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you” (Matthew 5:44). For what purpose? Why should I continue to love my enemies and even pray for them? In the same Sermon, Jesus gives this answer: “That you may be children of your heavenly Father, for he makes his sun rise on the bad and the good, and causes rain to fall on the just and the unjust” (Matthew 5:45). I tell you, the most incredible honor and achievement of life is to be a child of God. According to Saint Aloysius of Gonzaga, “It is better to be a child of God than king of the world.” And throughout his public ministry, Jesus reached out to tax collectors. Don’t forget Matthew was a tax collector before the Lord invited him to become a close follower, an Apostle. Don’t forget Zacchaeus, the wealthy tax collector. To him, too, Jesus reached out and even went to his house. To him, Jesus said, “Today salvation has come to this house because this man too is a descendant of Abraham” (Luke 19:9). Don’t forget the Samaritan woman at the well. Jesus also reached out to her. Don’t forget the Roman official, the centurion, who approached Jesus concerning his dying servant. To him, Jesus said, “I will come and cure him” (Matthew 8:7). 

Sisters and brothers, we have practical, achievable steps to resolve our disagreements, quarrels, and misunderstandings. Following these paths will make us holy.  

God bless you,

Fr. Marcel