That Which Makes A Family Holy

Rev. Marcel Divine Emeka Okwara, CSsR

Homily on the Feast of the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary & Joseph

St. Alphonsus Catholic Church, Brooklyn Center, MN

Sunday, December 26, 2021

Nowadays, lots of people talk about what makes a family healthy, well integrated, functional, and peaceful. But on this feast of the Holy Family, let’s look at what makes a family holy. Our first reading (1 Samuel 1:20, 24-28) is the story of Hannah. Her husband, Elkanah, has two wives, Peninnah and Hannah. While Peninnah has given Elkanah lots of children, Hannah remains childless. So, whenever the family travels to the temple in Shiloh to worship the Lord, Hannah will beg the Lord for a child. The ark of the covenant was kept in the temple in Shiloh before the Temple in Jerusalem was built by David and Solomon. Although Hannah was barren, her husband, Elkanah loved her with a very special devotion. In one occasion, as she was praying and crying, Elkanah came over to her and asked, “Why do you grieve? Am I not more to you than ten sons?” From different stories in the Bible, a childless woman was a miserable figure; someone with a  very low social status. The theme of childless women is common in the Bible. In the Old Testament we have Rebecca, Rachel and the mother of Samson whose name was not given. In the New Testament, we have Elizabeth, the mother of John the Baptist. All these women were seen incapable of having a child, but through the grace of God, they became pregnant and gave birth. In each of their stories, the Bible tells us something: that God works through the weakest and most despised, and that what we consider as suffering, is for God a point of entry. That’s the super-important spiritual truth of these stories. That thing you lack, that your suffering can provide entry to God. Don’t give up at all. 

So, in the temple in Shiloh, Hannah prays, “O Lord of hosts, if you look with pity on the hardship of your servant, if you remember me and do not forget me, if you give your handmaid a male child, I will give him to the Lord all the days of his life” (1 Sam. 1:11). She’s making a  deal with God: if you give me what I want, I will return him to you. As she continues to pray silently, her lips moving without words being heard, she was noticed by the priest of Shiloh, Eli. Displaying far worst pastoral insensitivity than Hannah’s husband, Eli reproaches her saying, “How long will you make a drunken show of yourself. Sober up from your wine” (1 Sam. 1:14). The priest thought the woman was drunk. But with great dignity and self-possession, Hannah replies, “No, my lord! I am an unhappy woman. I have had neither wine or liquor. I was only pouring out my heart to the Lord” (1 Sam. 1:15). In due course, the Lord hears the prayer of Hannah. She gives birth to a son whom she names, Samuel, which means “God has heard” or “the name of God.” After the weaning of the child, Hannah returns to Shiloh and gives Samuel to Eli, the same priest who accused her of being drunk. She kept the promise she made. After presenting her highly sought-after son to the Lord, Hannah bursts into prayer, “My heart exults in the Lord, my horn is exalted by my God” (1 Sam. 2:1). As you may have noticed, Hannah’s prayer is like that of Mary’s Magnificat: My soul glorifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior.” In fact, it is the canticle after which the canticle of Mary in the Gospel of Luke was modeled. Mary and Hannah are similar figures; both expressed this praise of the Lord. 

What are we seeing here? Something that St. Pope John Paul II called the law of the gift, which I have mentioned in my previous sermons. If you want to find the law of spiritual life, this is it: Your being increases in the measure you give it away. The moment you give to the Lord what he has given to you is precisely the moment you are exalted and lifted up. People of the world think that happiness comes from filling ourselves up what we think we are lacking. Worldly people believe the mighty are those who have filled themselves with the goods of the world, but it is actually on the contrary. But that’s not true. Your soul will magnify the Lord and your heart will be exalted when you give back to God what God has given to you. The truly mighty ones are those who have given away what God has given to them. When Jesus’ disciples gave up the little they have, their five loaves and two fish, they were multiplied to feed five thousand. When the widow of Zarephath gives to Elijah the little she has, her oil and flour multiplied. In the case of Hannah she is rewarded with five more children— three sons and two daughters by giving her first born, Samuel to the Lord.  The biblical family value on display in this narrative is this: the family exists not primarily for the benefits of the family members, rather for God and for God’s purposes. Hannah does not treat Samuel as a means of her own advancement or object of manipulation, rather she lets him go for God’s service. Your life is not about you. The family is not about itself. The family is the place where the missions of each family member are discerned and prepared for. 

A lot of people find today’s Gospel passage fascinating and and distasteful. Why? The 12 year old Jesus was left behind in Jerusalem. For three days, his parents searched desperately for him. Upon finding him in the temple, Mary said to Jesus, “Son, why have you done this to us? Your father and I have been looking for you with great anxiety.” From a purely natural standpoint their irritation was quite understandable. Can you imagine their anguish and psychological trauma for three days and nights as they searched for him in the holy city. They probably imagined the worst has happened.  But what’s Jesus’ response to his mother? “Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?” Again from a purely natural perspective, his response seemed callous and cruel. But the point being made here is that what precisely makes a family holy is surrendering to the will and purpose of God. In the first reading, Hannah offers her son in the temple. In the Gospel, Jesus comes to the temple to offer himself. So, surrendering to the will and purpose of God and finding your mission are what makes a family holy. Lots of people will tell you what makes a family healthy, functional, and peaceful, but the Church is interested in something more, something deeper. The Church wants the family to be whole and holy, and that means the law of the gift. Your being will increase in the measure that you give it away. What actually makes the family psychologically more adjusted is when we understand this principle. Give your family to God and your family will be holy and actually happy. 

God bless you!