Homily For the Fifth Sunday of Lent, Year B

“I am Troubled Now”

Rev. Marcel Divine Emeka Okwara, CSsR

Homily For the Fifth Sunday of Lent, Year B

St. Gerard Majella Church, Baton Rouge, LA

March 22, 2015

Jesus is well aware that his time on earth is coming to an end. He is aware that his days on earth are numbered. He is not ignorant of the events that are about to unfold, events that would shape the history of humanity and determine its salvation. Jesus knows that “The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified.” There were many times in the past that people had planned to entrap him and kill him, but he always escaped from their hands because it wasn’t yet his time. “His hour had not yet come” (John 7:30; 8:20). But now, his hour has come. In fact, he admits: “I am troubled now” but still adds, “Yet, what should I say? Father, save me from this hour? But it was for this purpose that I came to this hour.” 

In today’s Gospel (John 12-20-30), Jesus admits of being troubled. But what possibly could have troubled him? I believe he was troubled by the upcoming events. He was troubled by what may happen to his Apostles. He was troubled by the rejection and betrayal he was about to face. He was troubled by the cold-bloodedness of those who would execute him. Jesus knew that his hour had come; he knew that “unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains just a grain of wheat; but if it dies, it produces much fruit.” He knew that by shying away from death when the hour has come, one only reduces one’s life and mission, whereas by giving oneself up to death when the hour has come, one enhances it. The Greeks who wanted to see Jesus may have come to alert him to the seriousness of the danger surrounding him and to suggest to him to flee with them to Greece. Jesus’ response shows that he chose to stay and face death rather than seek a way to escape it. He refused to seek any help to prolong his earthly life beyond his Father’s will. The voice from heaven, “I have glorified it and will glorify it again” confirms that his decision is indeed God’s will. 

Beloved in Christ, are we troubled by depreciating health conditions, financial situations, death, or family dysfunctionality? Are we troubled by insecurity, lack of health-care, over-policing, weight-gain, weight-loss, drugs, alcohol and food addiction? Are we troubled by what is happening in our state, nation and the world? Are we worried about our children and grandchildren, about parents and grandparents, about friends and foes? Today’s Gospel tells us that we are not the first to be troubled by the events of life. Jesus too was troubled! There are so many things that worry and trouble us. Some of those deny us of sleep at night, full awareness and consciousness by day, and rest by evening. Because we are troubled by them, we are not able to enjoy life to its fullest. We are not able to eat well, enjoy the company of others, and fellowship with God. We are oftentimes absent-minded because we are troubled. But the way Jesus dealt with his anxiety can help us deal with our own worries and fears. Although he was troubled, he completely yielded to the perfect will of God for him. We are in this world to do the will of God. We were created because it was God’s will. We live because it is God’s will. We ought to also surrender to his will. No matter what we yearn and desire in this world, no matter what we pray and fast to acquire and to enjoy, no matter what our prayer points and requests are, in the end, let us leave the window open for the perfect will of God to be done in our lives. God’s will is not always pleasurable. His will is not always what we want, but it is what we need. The all-knowing God knows our needs. In the end, let’s accept his will for us no matter how painful it could be. In fact, we should spend our earthly life praying for God’s will to happen in our lives, because his will is always the best. 

I will end this homily with the story of my mother’s last day on earth. As you all know, I lost my mother to God last year in October. A day before she died, she called my elder sister who took care of her, thanked her for all her sufferings, then prayed and blessed her. After that, she started saying parting words to her, telling her the things she should say to me and to my brothers and sisters. At some point, my elder sister said to her, “Mama, why are you sounding like someone who’s going to die. Please, stop saying the things you are saying. The doctors have said you are going to make a full recovery. Remember, we have been praying for you. Nothing is going to happen to you.” With that, mother looked at my sister and said, “But don’t forget that I named one of my sons God’s will. So, it is God’s will that will be done. Yes, we have prayed, but in the end, it is the will of God that will be done.” A few hours after that conversation, my mother passed away. She wanted to live much longer, but she still accepted that in the end, it is God’s will that will be done. Whatever may be our wishes, hopes and aspirations in life, we must subject all that to the perfect will of God. Those who love their life so much to the point of rejecting God’s will for them will lose it. But those who love the life God has offered them, even when it does not appear flashy will preserve it for eternal life. 

Be joyful and joy-giving!