Just Be There!

Rev. Marcel Divine Emeka Okwara, CSsR

Homily for Father’s Day

St. Gerard Majella Church

Sunday, June 15, 2014

Christians have no problem calling God “Father.” The image of God as Father can first be traced to the Old Testament. In this prayer for mercy, Isaiah writes in 63:16 “You are surely our Father. Even though Abraham and Jacob do not know us, but you, Lord, are our Father, our Redeemer from of old is your name.” In his song recorded in Deuteronomy 32, Moses said in verse 6: “Is this the way you should treat the Lord, you foolish, senseless people? He is your Father, your Creator, he made you into a nation.” But the teaching on the Fatherhood of God took a more serious turn when Jesus constantly referred to God as “Father.” As a matter of fact, the title “Father” was Jesus’ favorite for addressing God. During the most difficult and turbulent period of his earthly life, that is, shortly before he was arrested and crucified, Jesus prayed in Gethsemane saying: “Father, my Father! All things are possible for you. Take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet not my will, but yours be done.” In the Synoptic Gospels (Matthew, Mark and Luke), Jesus called God “Father” for 65 times and over 100 times in the Gospel of John. St. Paul called God “Father” for over forty times. Calling God “Father” makes it personal. But calling God “Father” does not mean he is like our earthly fathers. We call him Father because he is the source of paternity. 

God is called “Father” in large part because we view him as having an active interest in human affairs, in the same manner a loving father would take interest in his children. God didn't just create us and then doesn’t have anything to do with us. He has a profound loving interest in us. He is interested in our affairs. He so much cares about us like no one would ever be. One of the most outstanding depiction of the Father by Jesus can be found in Luke 15:11-32, which is the Parable of the Lost Son. In the story, the prodigal son is not the chief focus of the story. He is not the central and the most important figure in the story. It’s the father! I dare to say that if anyone was extravagant, lavished, or “prodigal” in the story, it is the father. In the negative sense, the son was extravagantly wasteful: after he took his share of his father’s wealth, he went to a distant land where he wasted and lavished the wealth with prostitutes and with like-minded layabouts. But in a positive sense, the father lavished a great deal of mercy on him when he returned home. The Gospel of Luke tells us that when he came back, his father was sitting in the front porch of his house waiting for his son’s safe return. Have you thought of what would have happened to the wasteful son if his father had not been waiting in the pathway as he retraced his steps? Luke 15:20 says that “He was still a long way from home when his father saw him; his heart was filled with pity, he ran, threw his arms around his son, and kissed him.” Kissed who? The wasteful son, of course. This father, although loved his son so much, yet, he was willing to let go of him, and when the son left the house, the father never stopped praying for him until his safe return. On the return of the wasteful son, the father could've said to him: “You ungrateful and wasteful brat, what are you doing here? If you know where you are coming from, go back there. You took my money and wasted it. Leave my sight before I do something you will not like.” But that’s not what this father did. In this text of the Gospel, we see a man, a good father, a father like God the Father, who has been preparing for his son’s return. He has been praying for his safe return; he has been asking the Holy Spirit to touch the heart of his son and bring him back home safely. 

As celebrate Father’s Day today, I ask all the fathers here: What would you do if your son or daughter or grand-child goes far-off and not living up to the standard expected of them? When he or she leaves the house to pursue his or her dream like being away at college, what would you do? What would you do if your son or daughter has taken to substance abuse? What will be your reaction when all the sacrifices you have made for them are not being appreciated? One of the lessons we learn from the parable of the Lost Son is “Just Be There!” Don’t give up on them. The father of the wasteful son did not give up on his son; he exercised patience, prayed for his son, and waited for the day the good Lord will touch his heart and bring him home. But a father can only do this if he himself has a close and ongoing relationship with God. No one can give what he does not have. A father who has God in his life, will give godly things. But a father who has only worldly things, will give only worldly things. Be compassionate like the father of the Lost Son. Tamper your temper. Avoid any form of retribution. One of the reasons why there are so many dysfunctional adults today is because they have never heard words like “I love you” “You are pardoned” from a functional, caring and compassionate father. Before a father can express those words, he has to first experience the forgiveness of God. I want all fathers to know this, though you are not perfect, but God loves you still. If you had a difficult childhood, if the models you had while growing up were negative and abusive, embrace the lovingkindness of God. Picture the image of a father from that of the fatherhood of God. Do not lower the standard of fatherhood. The type of father you are should be much better than the type of father you had. Examine your fatherhood in the light of the fatherhood of God. You mustn’t necessarily be a bad father just because you had a bad father. Having a bad father should teach a man, not how to be a father, but how not to be a father. 

I encourage all fathers to develop a close relationship with God. If your fatherhood is not founded on God, make today your turning point. Though you are not perfect, (none of us is) but God the Father loves you still. Trust God and seek his face daily in prayer. To all fathers present, I ask you today, “What would you want your children to remember you most for? Do you want to be remembered as a loving and caring father? A selfish dad? A dad who was never around? Do you want to be remembered as a harsh, abusive and insensitive dad? The time you spend with your children, do you spend much of it chastising them or loving them? No one is perfect surely, but if you must err, do so on the side of compassion, care and unwavering love. 

A father’s love is very important. Every child needs a father’s love. A child knows when he or she is loved by the father. Being around the children, wanting to spend time with them and giving them space when needed are sure ways of expressing love. A little hug to your child when he or she is emotionally down and offering words of encouragement can express love. When they err, tell them they are forgiven after pointing out in a loving way that what happened is wrong. A high-five or a hug for your child can help convince that he or she is forgiven. Whenever you chastise your child, never end the conversation without giving him or her a hug or a high-five. There are some parents who attempt to buy their children’s affection and respect with electronic gadgets like iPod or iPad, but in many cases, all it takes is an expression of love, a high-five, a hug and verbal affirmation. Money surely can buy things, but it may not buy affection and respect. If a father wants affection and respect from his children, he should be ready to teach them those virtues by the way he loves and respects them. Most often than not, it is what we put into our kids that they put out. You cannot be in and out of their lives and expect them to love and respect you. Love is earned, so also respect. Any father who wants his children to love and respect him must equally love and respect them and their mother.