It All Begins From The Family

Rev. Marcel Divine Emeka Okwara, CSsR

Homily on the Feast of the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph, Year C

St. Gerard Majella Church

Baton Rouge, LA, USA

Sunday, December 30, 2012

Christmas is one of the special times for families to get together for special meals, enjoy each other’s company, relax together, make jokes together and have fun. As we celebrate the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ, it is most fitting that during this family time, we reflect on the Holy Family of Nazareth- Jesus, Mary and Joseph. The Holy Family is put before us by the Church as a model for our families. When we call the family of the Lord “The Holy Family” it does not mean that they did not have problems like every other family. Just as every family has to face problems and overcome them, so also the Holy Family had to face theirs. For those who are in doubt of whether they really had problems and for those who have forgotten of the numerous problems they faced, let us enlighten or refresh ourselves:

• The conception (or the pregnancy) of Mary through the Holy Spirit was tough for Joseph and Mary. They were concerned about whether people would believe that Mary’s pregnancy was by the power of the Most High? 

- Do not believe for a split second that Mary was untouched when Joseph was planning to divorce her secretly before the intervention of the angel of God in a dream.

- Jesus’ birth did not take place in a hospital or even in a human home. It rather took place in an animal’s habitat. This must have inconvenienced both Mary and Joseph a lot.

• When Jesus was born, Herod tried to kill him. The family had to flee to Egypt as refugees. A man or a woman of little faith could have questioned the message of the angel and even given up. 
• Remember the disappearance of Jesus after the Holy Family went to Jerusalem for the Feast of the Passover. He was only twelve years old. Mary and Joseph experienced anxiety as they searched for him for three days. Their grief was so deep that when Mary found Jesus at the Temple, she asked him: “Son, why have you done this to us?” 
• When Jesus started his public ministry, he was constantly away from home and it must have taken its toll on Mary. Simeon had prophesied in the Temple that a sword of sorrow would pierce her soul. In the Gospel of Luke 7:34, Jesus was described as a useless person, as someone who is of no use to the community: “Behold a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax-collectors and sinners.” This public definition and description of Jesus must have caused some grief to Jesus and Mary. The saddest moment of all came when Mary watched her only Son die a shameful death on the cross. Watching her Son killed as a common criminal, killed in the midst of other robbers must have broken her heart.

But in all these problems, the Holy Family triumphed and remained together as they faced their daily problems. You may be asking what kept them together leading to a glorious triumph. The answer is LOVE. What should hold our families together in times of difficulty is love and forgiveness. It is love that triumphs in the end. The love that binds up the family should lead to honest talking, dialogue and reconciliation. Parents should love their children and children should love their parents.

The greatest threat facing our families today is that we don’t spend enough time together. We don’t pray together. Most parents don’t know what their children are doing. And sometimes children too don’t understand why their parents don’t make themselves available to them. We are too busy to even hear the cry of our sick child, or sick spouse. We are too busy to take care of our elderly parents. Our society today is burdened with confusion and chaos because our children, like plants, have been without tending. In his address to Irish families, Pope John Paul II said, “Dear fathers and mothers believe in your vocation, that beautiful vocation of marriage and parenthood which God has given to you. Believe that God is with you…do not think that anything you will do in life is more important than to be a good Christian father and mother. …do not listen to those who tell you that working at a secular job, succeeding in a secular profession is more important than the vocation of giving life and caring for this life as mother (and father). The future of the Church, the future of humanity depends in great part on parents and on the family life that they build in their homes. “

Looking at the human families today, I have identified five reasons why parents fail in the raising of their children:

1. Failure in Family Devotion: The Holy Father, Pope John Paul II called the family “The Domestic Church”. It is the domestic Church because it is where children learn to love God, learn to love their neighbor and respect others. The greatest school a child can attend is the family altar.
2. Failure to Give Enough Attention: When parents neglect and fail to supervise their kids, they expose them to the corrupting influences of the society. Parents must know what their children are doing. As long as they live under your roof, you must know where they have gone. It is disheartening that most homes today are merely boarding houses or dormitories. Children merely pass the night there, while receiving their training outside from wrong sources. There is rush for wealth and thirst for sophistication. We get money. We make money but end up loosing the reason we labor and work so hard.
3. Failure to Lay Good Example: Many parents fail today because their lifestyles contradict what they teach and instruct their kids. If you do not want your kids to tell lies, why do you tell lies and equally encourage them to tell lies to visitors when they come? 
   If you do not want your kids to be tale-bearers, why do you always gossip and backbite? If you do not want them to be disrespectful, why do you slander and despise others? If you want them to be neat and organized, why are you dirty, rough, unkempt, and even in house-keeping? What of parents who argue, quarrel and fight before their children? In Church and in school, they are taught that fighting is wrong, that every disagreement should be settled amicably, while misunderstanding should be resolved in the spirit of love and forgiveness. But at home, papa and mama openly quarrel, abuse themselves and fight every other day before them.
4. Failure to Give Balanced Education: Every child needs informal and formal education. Parents should not leave their responsibility into the hands of the teachers at school. No teacher can train or educate your children better than you. It is not enough to send your children to school; you must give them the domestic training. They must learn how to clean the house, wash their clothes, and how to cook.
5. Failure to Reprimand: It is most unfortunate that our society has become such that children are no longer corrected for fear of being accused of child abuse. But the Book of Proverbs 13:24 says “He who spares his rod hates his son; but he that loves him chastises him at times” 

Beloved in Christ, it all begins from the family. And may the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph help us in our struggle to shape our families like theirs.  Amen.